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lions: fail mary
LOL: Lions lose to terrible Packers, 31-24

Detroit Lions Fail mary

For those keeping track, that makes us 0-3.

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Kill, Bubba, Kill!
Bubba Smith Bubba Smith

I saw this letter in yesterday's State News and wanted to share it. Unfortunately I won't be at tomorrow's game, but for those who will be, remember to chant for Bubba Smith when they retire his jersey.

I know most students probably do not really know the history behind Bubba Smith, or maybe who he even is. Bubba Smith will get his number retired on Saturday night on the same Spartan Stadium turf where just the sound of his name scared opponents so many years ago.

Smith may very well be the best defensive player ever to put on green and white along with teammate George Webster. Those two anchored what was the best defense ever in the Spartans' history and nearly led the Spartans to back-to-back national titles in 1965 and 1966, if it would not have been for some 10-10 tie in 1966 against the Irish.

When Bubba was flying around the field, the chant from the entire stadium would echo "Kill, Bubba, kill." I'm asking that for one more time, Spartan Stadium echo with that chant again — not only during the ceremony, but also when the Spartans are on defense.

With this being the 40th anniversary of that 10-10 tie, it would be a fitting way to honor that game and also maybe inspire the defense to play a little like the best Spartans defense of all time.

Chris Watsonkinesiology senior


Kill, Bubba, Kill!

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more news on u2 in the studio
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From U2.com via @U2:

Tuesday, September 5th
London, Abbey Road Studios: birthplace to most of the Beatles records, and countless other classic albums from Pink Floyd’s ‘Dark Side of the Moon’ to Radiohead’s ‘Kid A’.

Larry and Edge have flown in from Dublin, Bono from France and Adam, already in the city, has taken the short drive across town. Waiting in the control room is the instantly recognisable figure of Mr Rick Rubin, a producer whose musical pedigree stretches from Justin Timberlake to The Mars Volta, from Johnny Cash to Metallica. Rubin met up with the band earlier in the summer down in France and word is that some of what was written and demoed then will be recorded properly in the coming days.


Wednesday, September 6th 06
Back in the studio this afternoon, a late kick-off but now working on a new U2 track. Taping, as we used to call it, is briefly interrupted when Paul McCartney and Beatles producer George Martin drop by. U2 and McCartney were last in a London studio together in the summer of 2005, rehearsing ‘Sergeant Pepper’. Then playing Live 8 to a billion people next day. Bit of a moment to see Macca sliding down the bannister of the stairway from the control room to the studio floor. This place is like his second home. Then U2 got back to making music… and on into the night.

Thursday, September 7th 06
U2 were again at work by early afternoon, this time on a track that sounds like a U2 classic with an instant hook and a mesmerising chorus.

‘Bono had demoed it in Dublin,’ explains Larry. ‘Then brought it to the band and even in its most basic form you had the feeling that something special was going on.

‘It felt that maybe this time we were not going to be pushing a rock up a hill as we do a lot of the time with new material.’


Recording at Abbey Road. Paul McCartney and George Martin stopping by. Sounds like the jams are coming out naturally. I can't wait for the next album!

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some good u2 news and some blah u2 news
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Hmm. Some good news and some blah news about my favorite band from the fan website, atU2.com:

U2 is working on material for its next studio album with producer Rick Rubin, according to the band's Web site. The group has been at work on the as-yet-untitled follow-up to 2004's How to Dismantle an Atomic Bomb since last month.


Suh-weet. I can't wait. But, ugh, what's this?

While in the studio, U2 will be joined by Green Day to record a cover of Scottish punk band the Skids' "The Saints Are Coming." Proceeds from the track will benefit Music Rising, an instrument replacement fund co-founded by U2 guitarist the Edge last summer in the wake of Hurricane Katrina.


Good cause (hey, I bought a $40 t-shirt to support it), but Green Day? Puh-lease. What's next, a U2 duet with Fall Out Boy? As John Stossel's mustache would say, give me a break!

Good thing there's one more tidbit of good news:

Meanwhile, a DVD chronicling U2's Zoo TV tour will arrive Sept. 19 via Island/UME.


I am so there. Everything you know is WRONG. Watch more TV iBZP.

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big/amazing/crazy shit coming from apple today
The whole Mac web has their panties in a knot over Apple's big media event today. All the PR material from everyone's favorite fruit company has included the tag-line "It's Showtime!", leading people to speculate that full movies will be added to the iTMS, that iTunes itself will be re-branded as "Showtime", and that a new device will be released (allegedly named TubePort, which is an awful name IMHO) that will allow people to view movies on their home TV.

The whole movie thing makes sense to me, and actually seems like a pretty safe bet at this point, especially since Apple has temporarily shut down the iTMS and put up the following image:

itunesstordown

Another report from a French magazine is that Apple will launch the long-hyped (and to this point, nonexistent) iPhone today. Here's the picture:

iphonelevrai

So, what tricks does Steve have up his mock turtle-neck sleeve today? Who knows? I guess we'll find out at 1PM EDT.

I just know that it's my birthday, and I have money burning a hole in my pocket. Make me happy, Steve.

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get firefox!
Get Firefox! Get Firefox!

Okay, so I just checked iBZP on Micro$oft's Internet Explorer for the first time in several weeks (I know, I'm a shoddy webmaster). It looks like complete schlock. Every other browser I've checked? Looks great!

As usual, IE can't read a site with any sort of javascript or flash code in it, so that's why it looks like crap. For anyone out there who's still using IE to look at iBZP, I apologize.

Of course, this gives me an excuse to tell you again to download Mozilla's Firefox. I won't waste my breath explaining why IE sucks so much ass, but if you need to be told again, go check out this website.

In the meantime, GET FIREFOX!

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cloudy with a chance of meatballs: the movie
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File this under both "could be sweet" and "could be a major blow to my childhood memories."

Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs is one of my favorite children's books, and apparently Sony is making it into a movie, which will premiere June 8, 2007. Phillip Lord describes the idea:

He says Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs would be "a great disaster movie for kids...I think it's because those disaster movies are kind of silly, and they take themselves really seriously. And we felt like, it's sort of a silly idea for a movie in the first place. And giving it a little bit of a tongue-in-cheek comedy treatment felt like the way to go."


Well, it would obviously need to be toungue-in-cheek to work, but I just hope it doesn't suck. Something about "a great disaster movie for kids" doesn't sound quite right to me.

Why does everything have to be made into a movie these days? Has Hollywood completely run out of ideas that now they're reduced to pillaging children's literature for new material? I guess if they could make a feature-length film out of The Polar Express -- which is basically a picture book -- they can make a movie out of anything.

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the drunkest cities in america
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Well, I can't say I'm surprised that Milwaukee was number one, but I'm sure my mom will be glad to hear that her adoptive hometown, Columbus, came in at number three on the list of drunkest cities in America:

MILWAUKEE (Aug. 24) - Milwaukee has been ranked by Forbes.com as "America's Drunkest City" on a list of 35 major metropolitan areas ranked for their drinking habits.

Forbes said Tuesday it used numbers from the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention to rank cities in five areas: state laws, number of drinkers, number of heavy drinkers, number of binge drinkers and alcoholism.

Minneapolis-St. Paul was ranked second overall; followed by Columbus, Ohio; Boston; Austin, Texas; Chicago; Cleveland; Pittsburgh and then Philadelphia and Providence, R.I., in a tie for ninth.


Hey, Detroit might be the third angriest city in America, but at least Detroiters can hold their liquor. Anyway, congratulations to Milwaukee -- which is Algonquin for 'the good land' -- and Columbus! You did it, you drunk bastards!

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cheat to win, the new livestrong
Lance Armstrong, eat your heart out [from The Onion]:

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"Millions Of Americans Buying Floyd Landis-Inspired Bracelets"

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WWDC keynote wrap-up
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Well, there weren't any big bombshell announcements today (I wasn't really expecting any, but an "Oh, one more thing" from Steve would've been nice), but the next version of OS X does look pretty slick. Here's a rundown of the new features from The Unofficial Apple Weblog:

• Time Machine - a new built-in backup system that will back up your entire system and allow you to restore the whole thing or just selected files.
• Enhancements to iChat -- including a tabbed interface, custom still or video backdrops for your video iChat, iChat Theater (which lets you show iPhoto pics or a Keynote presentation during an iChat), and Photo Booth effects to make yourself look silly during a chat. Other iChat enhancements that were mentioned but not demoed include video recording (yes!), invisible mode, and animated buddy icons. The Apple site also shows the ability to share your desktop during an iChat. Now just let me figure out how to use these features to do screen recordings and machinima -- hmmm.
• Two dashboard additions -- Web Clip, which allows you to build dynamically updating widgets from any Web page (examples -- a cartoon or bestseller list that updates every day); and DashCode for widget development, complete with modifiable widget templates (for RSS, podcasts, and more), and a library of parts to pop into your widget.
• Additions to Mail.app -- a To-Do list made automatically from emails and that ties into iCal and other apps; Stationery (rich HTML email templates); and Notes (to replace those reminder emails you've been sending yourself).
• Universal Access features - natural sounding voiceover, closed captioning in QuickTime, and braille support.
• Core Animation - with features like keyframing and tweening to help developers create animations.
• Spotlight enhancement - Spotlight will be able to search other machines on your network, do Boolean search, and will launch your applications for you.
• Virtual desktop Spaces - letting you combine task-based applications into separate logical desktop configurations. That means you can have one group of apps running for Web design, another for print production, and yet another for podcast creation and editing. You'll be able to drag items between Spaces.
• Complete package - of built-in apps, including Boot Camp, Front Row, and PhotoBooth.
• 64 bit processing.


Apple also announced the long-awaited Mac Pro and Intel Xserves today.

It sounds like we won't be getting our grubby little hands on Leopard until "Spring 2007", but it looks like an amazing update.

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today is the day for WWDC!
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For all my fellow Mac zealots out there, today is the day we've been waiting for: the start of the Worldwide Developer's Conference in San Francisco. While this event is primarily geared towards Mac professionals and hardware/software developers, it has also become a platform for featuring new products. Specifically, we'll be getting a first glimpse of Mac OS X Leopard, or, as Apple is calling it, "Vista 2.0".

Coverage of Steve's keynote address starts at 1 p.m. EST this afternoon, and you can follow live updates of the event at MacRumors.

Stay tuned, Apple fans...

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is this the iPhone?
ichat_mobile-small

I saw this thing on The Unofficial Apple Weblog this morning.

Hmm. Well, it certainly looks like a more realistic Apple design than some of the other mock-ups I've seen, and definitely looks like it could be legitimate.

Frankly, I doubt Apple would be announcing such a consumer-y device at next week's World Wide Developer's Conference though, since it's typically such a "professional" event. While this image (if it's real) looks cool, I've never been a big fan of non-flip phones. This thing also doesn't look like it would have many Blackberry-esque bells and whistles, other than a camera and (presumed) iTunes functionality.

Of course, all of this is wild speculation, but as a member of the Cult of Mac, I'm obligated to obsess over these things.

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the new joker is... heath ledger?
Say whaaa? According to CNN, Heath Ledger is going to play the Joker in the next Batman movie, The Dark Knight.

Sure, the guy could play queer, but how can anyone possibly fill Jack Nicholson's shoes as the best villain of all-time? I hope this doesn't totally suck, considering how much I loved Batman Begins.

thejoker heath

"Now comes the part where I relieve you, the little people, of the burden of your failed and useless lives. But remember, as my plastic surgeon always said: if you gotta go, go with a smile."

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lance bass says 'bye, bye, bye' to being straight
lance_bass2

Lance Bass came out and told the world that he was gay today.

The world responded by asking, "Who the hell is Lance Bass?"

Oh, and Ellen DeGeneres wants her headline back.

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superior website up and running
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I almost forgot to mention. The website I made for Superior Die, Tool & Machine Co. is finally up and running. I'm pretty proud of it, so go have a look and let me know what you think:

http://www.superior-dietool.com/

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hard news from grove city, ohio
9506335_320X240

For anyone who needs more proof that my mom and Dan are living in the most happenin' city, in the most swingin' state in the union, well here you go [from NBC 4]:

GROVE CITY, Ohio -- A bizarre act of nature was found in Grove City Wednesday -- a kitten was born with two faces.

The kitten was born Wednesday morning. It has two mouths that meow in unison, two noses and four eyes that have not opened yet, NBC 4's Mike Bowersock reported.

"I was playing outside in the rain. Once I came in, I saw a two-faced cat my mom was picking up. That's how I knew there was a two-faced cat," said Charles Roberts, the cat's owner.



I know it sounds like this story couldn't get any more fascinating, but wait, there's more...

The cat's owner told NBC 4 that she fed Tiger at about 1 a.m. Friday. But when she awakened at about 5 a.m. to check on the cat, it was gone.

The family searched their entire home, but the kitten was not found, NBC 4 reported.

The cat was scheduled to go to a veterinarian on Friday. The cat did not originally nurse since it was born but was eating at the time of his disappearance, the cat's owner said.

Two other kittens were part of the litter but there was only one cat born with two faces, NBC 4 reported.Dr. Shane Bateman with The Ohio State University Veterinary Hospital said a two-faced kitten is extremely rare and there's no real explanation as to why it would have happened.


Hoo boy, we got a real mystery here. Somebody call Angela Lansbury.

Mom, Dan... I beg you. Move out of the sticks. Love, Zack.

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two bad ideas for the price of one
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Rocky Balboa
Aggrhoraarrrrah! Stallone translation: this looks like a train wreck in the making.

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'The Office': A British Crossover?
I know a lot of people think the American version of 'The Office' is good. Maybe it is. But I doubt Steve Carrell's character could say stuff like this: "I haven't got a sign on the door that says white people only. I don't care if you're black, brown or yellow - you know, Orientals make very good workers."

Doing a British crossover on the American spin-off that was inspired by the British version would be like taking a character from the original Star Trek series and putting them in an episode of Star Trek: The Next Generation. Some sort of sick half-human, half-Vulcan hybrid. Oh, wait. Nevermind.

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more bad news, detroit sports fans
Shanny bolts! Can it get any worse?! Here's the Mitch Albom article:

There's a time when you cast a shadow and a time when the shadow casts you. This, more than anything, is why Brendan Shanahan left the Red Wings on Sunday and signed with the New York Rangers.

"It was just a growing instinct," he said via phone from his summer home in Massachusetts. "As great as the future is in Detroit, I think I belonged a little more to its great past."

This is not your typical departing-athlete statement, which more often goes: "I had to do what was best for my family."

But Shanahan was never a typical athlete. More cerebral than most, more risk-taking than others, Shanahan, in his decade in this city, was keenly aware of the public thermometer. He knew how rare it was to ride a wave of Red Wings fever to three Stanley Cups in six years. And now, at 37, with the local horizon filled less with championships than with melancholy comparisons, he got while the gittin' was good.

"I guess I felt my group was leaving, our era is kind of over," he said. "I think it's better to walk out the door than to have it opened for you and, you know" -- he chuckled -- "they grab you by the scruff of the neck and throw you out."

This is not Ben Wallace, harpooning big money and leaving behind the teammates who made him special. Shanahan took a one-year, $4-million deal from the Rangers, for the same or even less potential money than the Wings were offering, because he feels he is down to his final seasons and he wants to play them on the ice, not against his shadow. He spoke to Steve Yzerman about it. He spoke to Ken Holland about it. Both conversations, he said, ended not with anger but with them talking about how much they had accomplished together...

He knows glory. He knows defeat. And he knows that all players eventually reach that bracing moment when they face a hook: Either they hang their skates on it, or they are given it by management. He didn't want that happening in Detroit. He leaves with a good decade behind him, locked and laminated. It's the smart play, maybe as positive an ending as he was going to get as a Wing.

Detroit has lost three major stars in the past week. Each had his own story. Yzerman was canonized. Wallace was jeered.

Brendan Shanahan, when the smoke clears, will be appreciated -- and missed. You can be happy that he has found a team for his closing chapters, or you can be angry that he didn't make it Detroit. But he didn't leave spitting. He didn't wave a bundle of cash from the train. He spent a lot of time on the ice over the years anticipating a pass or a punch, and when he anticipated his end here, he saw more shadows than light. He made a choice. And he's right about one thing. An era has passed.

Time moves like a river. Ours is called the Detroit. And his, now, is called the Hudson.


Sigh. It really is a new era of Detroit sports. Steve's gone. Shanny's gone. Ben's gone. The Tigers are good. Up is down. Black is white. Dogs and cats, living together. Mass hysteria. I don't know if I can take much more of this.

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london victims remembered
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London Times
The Independent
New York Times

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FBI nabs 3 over coca-cola secrets
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As a crazy liberal, I love terrorists. I want Osama Bin Laden to be our next president. All the guys down in Gitmo should be set free in Texas to burn the state to the ground. But instead of closing the prison at Guantanamo Bay, I think we should send these thugs down there to rot for eternity [from CNN]:

ATLANTA, Georgia (CNN) -- Three people have been arrested on charges of offering Coca-Cola secrets to rival Pepsi for $1.5 million, federal prosecutors have said.

The FBI began an undercover sting after Pepsi informed Coke it had received a letter from someone claiming to be a Coke employee, offering "very detailed and confidential information" about products being developed, according to David Nahmias, the U.S. attorney in Atlanta.


Dealing with terrorism is a nuisance for looney lefties like me, but I take my Coke very seriously. Stealing secrets from my beloved soda company and selling them to the goons who make that swill, Pepsi, is high treason in my book. I say we give 'em the Jack Bauer treatment. Which eye do they want to lose first?

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how fast can YOU type?
If you're like most adults, you probably don't have Mavis Beacon and/or Mario Teaches Typing (what I learned on) installed on your computer anymore.

While this test is a little speed-friendly (since the text is right there in front of you), it's a pretty good measure of how fast you can type. Based on three tries, my fastest rate was 99.26wpm and my slowest was 97.49. Go take the test and see how fast you can slam the keys [via Lifehacker].

Picture 3

Picture 1

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ken lay... he dead
Ken Lay croaked this morning. Pity.

It's a good thing that all dogs go to heaven.

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draft day is good to michigan state
MSU basketball players drafted by NBA teams yesterday: THREE
U of M basketball players drafted by NBA teams yesterday: ZERO

bilde
Well, we didn't snag three in the first round like a lot of people thought might happen (and if Paul Davis had a pair, he might've gone a few selections sooner), but it was still a pretty impressive day for the Michigan State basketball program [from LSJ]:

It was the second time MSU had three players drafted (2001 was the other). It was the fourth time MSU had two players picked in the first round. And it gave the Spartans six first-round selections since 2000 - trailing only Connecticut (eight) and Duke (seven) in that time.

"It was a huge night for the program. I thought Stephen A. Smith did us a lot of favors," MSU coach Tom Izzo said of the ESPN analyst who praised MSU's player development more than once. "And I think that is respect for the program and the guys that have played here."


Here's my dad's expert analysis:

Shannon Brown to Cleveland: could play a lot right away, the beneficiary of passes from another former Spartan, Eric Snow...with lots of open court room as Lebron James is double-teamed. Look for him on ESPN's Top Ten plays of the day with a few explosive dunks next season.

Maurice Ager to Dallas: Whew. Could be a tough lineup to crack, what with having just made the Finals and all. Somebody in the paper sees him as the ultimate successor to Jerry Stackhouse for bench scoring, to which I say...'huh?' Stack must be four inches taller and 40 pounds heavier.

Paul Davis to the LA Clippers: will make the team, and then might lead the NBA in splinters behind Chris Kamen and Elton Brand on a young team that's finally moving up after a history of futility. Hope I'm wrong.


Todd Shulz of the LSJ had an interesting article in the paper yesterday about this draft though:

Not to stick sand in that sharp new Sparty swimsuit, but if Brown, Ager, and Davis truly are first-round talents, it would be fair (and even more frustrating) to re-ask the question: How did MSU manage to finish 8-8 in the Big Ten and get bounced from the NCAA Tournament in the first round?

"We had three very good players," Izzo says. "But it takes more than three very good players to win at the level we're trying to win at. We didn't have the depth or the luck to get done what we wanted to get done. I don't look at it as a negative because I understand some of the reasons why we weren't (better)."


It is a little ridiculous when you think about all the talent these three guys have, that they didn't do more as a team last year. I'm still really proud of our guys and the program though. This sends a message in a big way to everyone in the basketball world that MSU is still a force to be reckoned with. Of course, we'll have to wait and see what happens next season.

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larry brown fired, new knicks coach... isiah thomas!
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Apparently the owner of the New York Knicks likes losing a lot more than anyone thought [from AOL Sports]:

NEW YORK (June 22) - Larry Brown was fired by the New York Knicks on Thursday and replaced as coach by president and general manager Isiah Thomas.

In Brown's one season in New York, the Knicks stumbled to a 23-59 record - second worst in the NBA and matching the most losses in club history.


Thomas was the mastermind who engineered last year's spectacular failure of a team. And they just made him the new head coach? Sure, Larry is a bit overrated and made some dumb moves last year, but making Isiah the new coach is the NBA equivalent of the Detroit Lions firing a hall-of-fame coach (not that we've ever had one) and replacing him with Matt Millen.

Well, I guess this just means the Pistons have one less team to worry about in the Eastern Conference next season (not that they would anyway).

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why you're a fool to buy a DULL DELL laptop
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Dude, they may be cheap, but Dell computers are, well... cheap [from the Inquirer via Gizmodo]:

AN INQUIRER READER attending a conference in Japan was sat just feet away from a laptop computer that suddenly exploded into flames, in what could have been a deadly accident.

Guilhem, our astonished reader reports: "The damn thing was on fire and produced several explosions for more than five minutes".

Should you witness such an event, his advice is, "Don't try anything courageous/stupid, stay away, away, away!"

"For the record, this is a Dell machine," notes Guilhem. "It is only a matter of time until such an incident breaks out on a plane," he suggests.

Guilhem managed to catch all the action in these amazing pictures.

"Fire extinguishers leave a mess on your suit and belongings; pack your stuff (if you can) and leave, leave, leave!" he advises.


Dude, yer gettin' third degree burns!

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power laces, alright!
I just saw this post on Gizmodo for replicas of the Nike shoes that Marty wears in Back to the Future Part II. Apparently someone is selling them on eBay... in case anyone was planning to do some early Christmas shopping for yours truly:

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morning latte links
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Freep: Seeger gang hits the road
DetNews: Springsteen jam sessions spark tour
Some tidbits from the Detroit papers about this weekend's Bruce concert at Pine Knob. I think the metaphor that Bruce has been using to describe this project is perfect, that it's an artist's responsibility to build a box for themselves, and then climb out of it. When you consider that this album was made in less time than Bruce spent producing the song "Born to Run", you start to get a sense of what a departure this project is for the ultimate musical perfectionist.

SI: Roethlisberger released, promises to wear helmet
I'm sorry, but this guy is a moron. It just proves the point in a post from a week ago that bikers who want to reverse helmet laws are idiots. I mean, seriously, would Roethlisberger ever play a game of football without a helmet?

CNN Money: Microsoft Chairman Gates to leave day-to-day role
Normally I'd use this time to say something disparaging about Bill Gates and/or Microsoft, but I think this is a brilliant move on his part. He's made his billions, and now he wants to commit himself full-time to giving it away to worthy humanitarian causes. Bill Gates and his wife to be commended for the work their foundation does.

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morning latte links
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AFI names It's A Wonderful Life 'Most Inspiring Film'
Well, this was an easy one to pick. Anyone who can watch this movie without getting a little teary-eyed at the end has no soul. What I do think is interesting though is that Schindler's List was #3 on this list. I'm sorry, but I don't get how this is an 'inspiring' film. Depressing, maybe. What's it supposed to be inspiring you to do? Not kill Jews during another world war? Not be an anti-semite? I guess I thought that was kinda common knowledge at this point. Then again, if you're an anti-semite, you probably won't cry at the end of It's A Wonderful Life either.

Taylor Hicks named Peope's 'Hottest' Bachelor
Eat your heart out, Chris Daughtry.

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another terrible movie idea
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Dad passed this one along to me.

Hmmmm, let's see. Eminem needs to be in another movie. How about a Western? BRILLIANT! [from iWon]:

DETROIT (AP) - Eminem will return to the big screen in an updated version of the television Western "Have Gun - Will Travel."

Paramount Pictures has extended an 18-month option on the property to develop it as a vehicle for the Detroit rapper, Daily Variety reported Tuesday. The show debuted on CBS in 1957 and ran until 1963.

Eminem, whose real name is Marshall Mathers III, has committed to shoot the role and is excited about his latest opportunity, Interscope Records spokesman Dennis Dennehy told The Associated Press. Dennehy did not provide additional details.

The concept of the series will be updated to contemporary times and feature Eminem playing a bounty hunter, Daily Variety said.


Well, considering what a box office and critical smash Will Smith's (another rapper, btw) Wild Wild West was, I think this is a genius move by Paramount and Eminem.

the-critic
Ummmm, NOT. Honestly, does anyone still give a rat's ass about Eminem? I'll admit, like most disillusioned kids who grew up during the 90s, I went through a brief Eminem phase when I was in high school, but I have thankfully seen the error of my ways.

The guy's day came and went. He's nothing more than a has-been hack at this point, and the only reason anyone still remembers who he is is because of the way his marriage to Kim (for what, the eighth time?) has played out in the tabloids. Sure, 8 Mile did okay at the box office, but a f#cking Western?!

Jon Lovitz as the Critic: "IT STINKS!"

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mr. perfect, j.j. reddick, arrested on DWI charges
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Well, you can say this for J.J. Reddick... at least he didn't rape anyone. Here's what the story from Sports Illustrated has to say:

DURHAM, N.C. (AP) -- Duke standout J.J. Redick was arrested early Tuesday on charges of driving while impaired, according to court records.

Redick, 21, was also charged with unlawful use of highways and his drivers license was revoked for 30 days, according to records cited in several published reports.


I have one word to describe J.J. Reddick: dumbass.

Boy, this has been some year for the spoiled brats at Duke, hasn't it?

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cars gets an A- from EW
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CNN/EW has the first full-length review I've seen for Pixar's Cars. It sounds pretty good... it's hard to beat an A-. I keep wondering at what point the Pixar whiz John Lasseter will run out of gas, and churn out a clunker, but it sure sounds like that hasn't happened yet.

Is there any movie studio out there now (or ever) that has not only been so successful in terms of ticket sales, but delivered such consistently great films? I sure as hell can't think of any.

I'm really looking forward to seeing this one soon... maybe next week.

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24 movie inching towards becoming reality
KA-CHUNG, KA-CHUNG, KA-CHUNG...

Stef told me she saw a headline about a '24' movie yesterday, and I think my heart skipped a beat. Ever since the show started five years ago, I've been advocating a '24' film that is actually twenty-four hours long. The tagline would be one word: "DAMMIT!" You would go, sit in the theater, and watch Jack be a badass for one solid day, and would only be allowed to pee when Jack pees.

Unfortunately, I doubt any studio would have the balls to actually tackle such a project. Bunch'a Hollywood, New-York-Times-reading, latte-sipping, French, communist, hippie LIBERALS. I ask you this question... what would Jack Bauer do?

Well, since my dream of a twenty-four-hour-long '24' film will probably never happen, I guess I can still be excited about this [from the Chicago Tribune]:

The creative minds behind Fox's "24" have finally inked deals to create a movie based on the Emmy-winning series, finally moving the buzz-worthy project out of the realm of mere speculation.

According to Variety, 20th Century Fox has reached deals with Robert Cochran and Joel Surnow, the show's creators, and Howard Gordon, a long-time executive producer, to work on a big screen version of the nail-biting adventures of the always-busy Jack Bauer.

One person who currently isn't under contract is Kiefer Sutherland, who has played anti-terrorism agent Bauer for five seasons. However, given Sutherland's repeated contributions to the "24" feature's rumor mill--he's long been in favor of the idea--his addition seems to be only a matter of time.

The industry trade paper repeats rumors that the feature would abandon the show's real-time format to allow for an expanded plot.

The flick hasn't been given the official green light, however.


I'm more than a little leery about the notion of abandoning the real-time format, but then again, the limits of plausibility have already been thrown out the window for this show anyway.

One can only assume that Kiefer will sign on for this project, otherwise one has to ask... why bother? That would be like making a movie of the Bible and leaving out all the parts with Jesus in it.

Now, there's just one last question: what movie sounds more badass to you? A '24' film, or the upcoming 'Snakes on a Plane' with Samuel L. Jackson? You be the judge.

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no, shannon, no!
1111992886

I hate to say I told you so, but after waking up this morning and hearing about MSU basketball player Shannon Brown hiring an agent (effectively ending his college career) to enter the NBA draft, I can't help myself. Here's what I wrote on April 25, 2006:

Shannon Brown, I have two words for you: MARCUS TAYLOR. Just keep repeating those words when you think about hiring an agent and officially closing the door on your senior year at Michigan State.

Okay, so Downtown Shannon Brown hasn't done this yet, but after reading this story in the State News and this one in today's Lansing State Journal, I can't say I'm optimistic. Why? Because this is the exact same routine Marcus Taylor put us through four years ago. He declared for the draft without hiring an agent, and now he has a thriving NBA career... in his driveway.


Well, here's the news from the Lansing State Journal:

But Thursday, after weeks of hearing nothing but positive feedback on his status, Brown finally decided to make his jump official. He will forfeit his senior year at Michigan State despite not getting a rock-solid promise that he'll go in the first round. First-round picks get guaranteed three-year deals.

"There won't be any regret because it's my decision," Brown said via teleconference, when asked about the possibility of not going in the first round. "There's no regret at all. There's a possibility I could get picked in the first round, there's a possibility I could get picked in the second round, and there's a possibility I won't get picked at all. It's something I have to deal with."

Brown will hire Chicago-based agent Mark Bartelstein, CEO of Priority Sports and Entertainment, who acted as an adviser to Brown throughout the process. Bartelstein, MSU coach Tom Izzo and Brown's father, Chris, worked closely in gathering information.


Deep breaths. It'll be okay. Grrrrroan.

Boy, I sure can't wait for the basketball season to start again... in 2007.

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bizarro world: hyundai tops toyota in quality
"I said lady, step inside my Hyundai."

I'm not sure, but this could be a sign of the impending apocalypse:

Maybe Hyundai Motor Co. drivers don't need that 10-year, 100,000-mile warranty after all.

The South Korean automaker known for its value pricing -- all its vehicles sell for less than $29,000 -- delivered a jaw-dropping performance in J.D. Power and Associates' annual survey on new-vehicle quality, which was released Wednesday.

Hyundai was the No. 1 non-premium brand in the United States, edging past Toyota, the Japanese brand whose rock-solid quality reputation has been shaking Detroit's dominance in the nation's auto market for years.

Overall, Hyundai was No. 3 in this year's report, behind No. 1 Porsche and No. 2 Lexus, Toyota's luxury brand, and right ahead of Toyota. Last year, Hyundai was No. 11, so the leap made Hyundai the third-most improved nameplate this year.


What planet are we living on? F-ing HYUNDAI? Next thing you know Kia and Daewoo will round out the top five.

I'm getting ready to drop some dough on a new car in the next 9-12 months, but you couldn't pay me to drive a Hyundai.

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what if...
Gallery of the Absurd offers us a glimpse into the future of irony.
One can only hope...

Brad and Angelina's ugly baby

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more reason to hate pepsi and the hoff
If you revel in sick and disturbing experiences (and if you're a Pepsi drinker, you must), then go check out the Hoff's newest desktop collection, courtesy of Pepsi.com.au [via AV Club].

Pepsi = Swill
Hoff = Antichrist

hoff-1024-3-small

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ken lay, bush's old buddy, found GUILTY
lay2 skilling lay3

Ahhhhhh. The smell of justice.

Ken Lay and Jeff Skilling were both found guilty in the Enron trial today. Grab yer ankles, boys [from Yahoo]:

Enron founder Lay was convicted on all six counts against him in the corporate trial. Former Chief Executive Skilling was convicted on 19 of the 28 counts, including one count of insider trading, and acquitted on the remaining nine.

Lake set sentencing for Sept. 11. Lay's charges carry a maximum penalty in prison of 45 years for the corporate trial and 120 years in the personal banking trial. Skilling's charges carry a maximum penalty of 185 years in prison.

As Lake read the verdict from the bench, Lay tossed his head at hearing the first "guilty" on the conspiracy count. He clutched his wife's hand as he heard that word over and over again.

Lay sat with his wife, Linda; his daughter, Elizabeth Vittor, a member of his defense team; and Linda Lay's daughter, Robyn. As Lay clutched Linda Lay's hand, the three women leaned forward and began to sob quietly.

After Lake left the courtroom, Lay's family and some friends gathered around him as the ex-chairman, red-faced and fighting back tears, hugged them and thanked them for their support.

iTunes is not playing.Skilling, sitting with his brother, Mark, showed no emotion when the verdict was read.

"Obviously, I'm disappointed," Skilling told reporters outside the courthouse. "But that's the way the system works."


Yep, Ken Lay, George W. Bush's good old buddy from Texas, who was also (most likely) part of Cheney's secret energy task force, is a convicted felon. Between him and Skilling, these two sacks of shit got a grand total of 305 years in prison for all their nefarious activities.

Boy, I hope the sisters (anyone remember Shawshank Redemption?) get ahold of these guys right quick.

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the most surreal AI ever
taylor_hicks10

First, for anyone living under a rock, Taylor did win American Idol last night. Stefy and me have been saying it since the get-go. Here's a few links to various Taylor stories this morning:

[NYT] Surprise (Well, Not Exactly)!
[People] Taylor Hicks Wins American Idol
[CNN] America Crowns a New 'Idol'

Okay, was it just me, or was last night the most surreal American Idol ever? Maybe the most surreal two hours of television ever? Where do we start?

I think Meatloaf singing a Celine Dion song with Katherine is a good start. What the hell was up with that duet and song choice? Why was the Meat holding a big red handkerchief the whole time? I've never done drugs before, but I think watching that performance is as close as I'll ever get to experiencing an acid trip.

Celebrity after celebrity just kept coming out of the woodwork throughout the show. Burt Bacharach, Dionne Warwich, Toni Braxton, Clay Aiken singing with an insane look-a-like, Mary J. Blige. It just never stopped. Of course, just when Seacrest said they were done with "surprises" for the night, Prince, the purple one himself, materialized through the smoke. As always, he was a total badass.

Question: How many men can wear high heels and still be the coolest cat in the room?
Answer: One. And his name is Prince.

I love that right after Prince was done singing and dancing, Seacrest came to the center of the stage to thank him and send the show into commercial. But as soon as the camera cut to a new angle, all you could see was Prince's back disappearing into the smoke. He didn't even bother to stand up there with Captain Highlights. Prince might be an even bigger badass than Samuel L. Jackson, and I don't say that lightly.

Did anyone else notice that when the show cut away to live footage of Katherine and Taylor's groups of supporters in Los Angeles and Alabama, that Taylor's fans filled this huge arena, but they only showed a close shot of about 20 people at Universal Studios cheering for Katherine? How lame is that? They probably had to set up the camera next to a food stand at Universal to get that many people to gather up for the cutaway. I mean, did anyone really doubt that Taylor would pull it out last night?

Anyway, I have to say that the two hours felt like they went by pretty fast to me. For all the crazy shenanigans and stunts, it was a pretty entertaining finale.

I've been watching this show since the first show of season 1, and this is the first time the winner was someone I would honestly buy an album from. It was a great season, a great finale, and America picked a fantastic winner.

BZP out.

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the hicks factor
First, a quick Idol re-cap. I thought last night was pretty flat for both performers. Maybe it's just me, but I don't remember the contestants singing old songs on the last night in previous years. Taylor definitely took the first round, and Katherine the second. The new songs for both of them were TERRIBLE though. Honest-to-God, whatever moron(s) wrote those pieces of crap should be shot. Oh, and one last note to the Idol producers: gospel singers does not a great performance make.

taylor hicks on the idol finale

Okay, I just wanted to pass along an excerpt from this article I found on The Huffington Post today. It looks like Taylor is so big in Alabama right now that the ridiculous amount of coverage he's been getting on local news outlets has already had a big impact on how candidates buy tv ads in the primaries this year [from Hotline Blog]:

But in Alabama, the home state of Taylor Hicks, the chubby, Birmingham-born finalist, Idol has become a bit of a nuisance for some of the professionals whose business it is to focus on the old-fashioned kind of election -- and the state of Alabama has a big one on June 6.

So popular is "Idol" that the show's viewership in the state has exploded, dwarfing anything else on television.

Last week's show drew a record 42.6 rating compared to 4 ratings each for the perennially strong "Good Morning America" and "The Today Show."

The "Hicks Factor" has created an unprecedented opportunity for Alabama candidates and consultants for the upcoming primary: practically the entire state is tuning in to 'American Idol' and paying rapt attention -- and to top it all off, they're voters! (If you count voting for your favorite 'Idol' contestant, that is!) Problem is, the cost of associating one's candidacy with Alabama's new favorite son is enough to bankrupt lesser campaigns.

As "Idol's" ratings have skyrocketed, so has the cost of 30-second ads, which can range from $5,000 up to $20,000. The "Hicks Factor" has even spilled over into morning and evening newscasts, whose ratings have been boosted by countless Taylor Hicks tie-ins.

According to information provided to us by one top consultant in the state, Fox's late news has seen a 63 percent increase in ratings due to the 'Idol' lead.

Too bad for Hicks that the state's filing deadline has passed:
if he doesn't take home the crown tonight, he'd have to be the odds-on favorite for governor.


The Soul Patrol owns you!

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lionel richie is huge in iraq... for serious
lionel richie sculpture

You just can't make this stuff up [from ABC's Nightline via AV Club]

I have been to Iraq nine times since the American invasion three years ago, for a total of about 10 solid months. (My wife is counting.) During that time, I have seen bombs and blood, I have seen rebuilding and restructuring, and I have seen death and democracy. So what have I heard? That's easy: Lionel Richie.

Grown Iraqi men get misty-eyed by the mere mention of his name. "I love Lionel Richie," they say. Iraqis who do not understand a word of English can sing an entire Lionel Richie song.

This is the same Lionel Richie who wrote "Say You, Say Me." This is the same Lionel Richie who is the father of some young woman named Nicole. Yes, that Lionel Richie. Could he really be an Iraqi icon?

I decided I had to investigate, and not just investigate, I decided I had to ask Lionel Richie himself. So I called him from Baghdad. Actually it was a formal interview. It was the first interview with Lionel Richie ever on the subject of Iraq and Iraqis.

I asked Richie if he knows just how big he is here. He said, "The answer is, I'm huge, huge in the Arab world. The answer as to why is, I don't have the slightest idea."


Well, democracy is probably one of America's most important exports, but Lionel Richie? Really?

I want to know how the hell the Iraqis even got a copy of a Lionel Richie CD in the first place. Either Saddam was a bigger fan than anyone realized, or Donald Rumsfeld lost his iPod the last time he was in the country.

If this kind of music is entertaining to the people of Iraq, there really is no hope for them. Dancing on the ceiling won't solve anyone's problems.

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pat robertson can leg press 2,000 pounds!
Wow! No wonder the Republican party, led by religious evangelicals like Pat Robertson, are kicking the Democrats' asses all over America. Pat Robertson says he can leg press 2,000 pounds [from CBN, via CBS SportsLine]:

Did you know that Pat Robertson can leg-press 2000 pounds! How does he do it?

Where does Pat find the time and energy to host a daily, national TV show, head a world-wide ministry, develop visionary scholars, while traveling the globe as a statesman?

One of Pat's secrets to keeping his energy high and his vitality soaring is his age-defying protein shake. Pat developed a delicious, refreshing shake, filled with energy-producing nutrients.

Discover what kinds of natural ingredients make up Pat's protein shake by registering for your FREE booklet today!



Pat Robertson can leg press 2,000 lbs!
Holy geez, sign me up! Even at 76 years old, I wouldn't mess with Pat and his legs-of-steel.

Of course, I'm sure I probably have to pray and do other stuff to be a good Christian (like not calling for the assassination of a world leader) in order for Pat's wonder shake to work for me.

If only the Dems would see the light and join the CBN Community, we could be producing this stuff en masse! Boy, I bet Hillary could do at least 3,000 pounds if she tried this stuff. We really need to get somebody on this.

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slate: taylor will win american idol
Picture 2

Stefy and I have been saying that Taylor Hicks will win American Idol all along. But don't take our word for it [from Slate]:

Tuesday's final presents a stark choice. McPhee would seem to be a record executive's dream candidate: a classy, pretty girl from Los Angeles who can really sing. But there's only a few record executives out there, and many millions of Idol voters, and I suspect that they, with guidance from Simon, Randy, and Paula, will choose Hicks, the prematurely gray-haired doofus who has spent the past several weeks jerking across the Idol stage like a spaz while belting out classic R&B covers. There's something vaguely unsettling about his shtick: Although he's not black, he calls his fans "The Soul Patrol," and although he's neither black nor blind, he insists on lurching backward when he sings like his idol Ray Charles.

Still, I'll be rooting hard for Hicks. I wager he'll win in a walk, as well he should: He's just a more interesting singer. A Hicks victory would be the ultimate answer to critics who've slammed Idol for its plastic pop-music values. (Bar Band Singer Bests Pop Princess!) And it would continue the Idol voters' streak of choosing talent over beauty—think of pretty boy Justin Guarini falling to Kelly Clarkson, who despite the best efforts of a battery of stylists still looks more like a Dutch mastiff than Jessica Simpson. No matter what happens, it's destined to be a riveting few hours of television. If you're one of the last American Idol holdouts, I urge you to tune in. There will doubtless be at least a couple of great performances—and maybe even a moment.


You heard it here first.

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elliott yamin: you had a bad day
yaminrichmond0512

Fare thee well, Mr. Yamin.

America will miss you. But not the teeth.

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panic in detroit
Every game now just makes me look more and more ignorant for predicting this Detroit Pistons team would sweep the Cavs after game two. Last night was just a mess.

bilde
Rasheed let his temper go again, and guess what? He fouled out with a cheap call and then a technical. Chauncy made a bad move a couple minutes later, and then fouled out as well, and had to sit out for the last couple minutes.

As always, Mitch says it best:

Look. This is no longer about quotes. This is no longer about Rasheed Wallace's silly claims or the Pistons' verbal confidence. This is only about what's happening on the floor. The Pistons are playing badly. They are shooting badly. On Wednesday, they made dumb passes, lazy passes, technical fouls -- two, the point difference in the game -- and their shots were blocked 10 times.

And the bugaboo that nobody wanted to face but you knew they were going to face sometime -- Ben Wallace at the free-throw line -- came to pass at the worst moment, 40 seconds left with the game tied.

He missed the first. He really missed the second.

The Pistons didn't score again.

It can't happen, right? But it's happening.



The only player on the floor who really stepped up for the Pistons last night was Antonio McDyess. If it wasn't for his hot streak in the fourth quarter, it would've been a ten or fifteen point loss instead of a two-pointer.

And that says a lot to me. Guys like McDyess––the workhorses of the team––are stepping up in clutch situations, while the all-stars play sloppy, lackadaisical basketball. Meanwhile, almost every player on the Cavs has elevated their play in the last three games.

Where was Chauncy last night? Where was Rip? These are supposed to be our go-to guys!

Another excerpt from Albom's article frames a potentially frightening picture:

"I'm still not concerned," guard Chauncey Billups said, almost incredibly, after the Pistons -- the team that wins nail-biters -- lost another nail-biter, 86-84, Wednesday night at the Palace. "I know what we're capable of."

"How can you say that?" someone asked.

"Say what?"

"That you're not concerned?"

"Because I'm not concerned."

By the way, Billups fouled out -- another thing that doesn't happen. But it happened.



HE SHOULD BE CONCERNED! We haven't lost three games all year, let alone to the same opponent!

I've been telling everyone "don't worry" for about a week, but guess what? I'M WORRIED! Yeah, we all know how great this team is, but they've basically been AWOL since game two.

Hasn't the City of Detroit been through enough heartbreak? When the Wings made an early, disappointing exit, all Michigan sports fans turned their eyes to the Pistons for inspiration. As fans, of course, we can't just sit around and expect that another NBA championship will fall in our laps. We have been spoiled by this team. But don't let it end now. Not like this. Not to the Cavs. Don't make us be witness to this.

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run, al, run!
capt.1f44c0da32094d3cafbaf40ff115c423.gore_documentary_calj116
Even if Al Gore isn't officially running for prez in 2008, ya gotta love the early (free!) buzz:

Speculation about his future heightened last weekend when Gore opened NBC's "Saturday Night Live" with a skit in which he pretended to be the president of the United States looking back on six years of accomplishments.

No global warming. No war in Iraq. No budget deficits. And gasoline at 19 cents a gallon. The nation's big crisis under a President Gore: "Glaciers that once were melting are now on the attack," he joked.

"The global warming issue has been good for him because he approaches it with a great deal of passion, something he was lacking in 2000," said Mark Byrnes, political science professor at Middle Tennessee State University in Murfreesboro, Tenn.

Gore served as Tennessee senator from 1985-93 after eight years in the House.

"An Inconvenient Truth" is keeping Gore on the road. He attended the Sundance Film Festival in Park City, Utah, earlier this year and was in Los Angeles on Tuesday for a movie preview.

He will attend a Washington preview Wednesday before heading to France for the Cannes Film Festival on Saturday. The movie opens May 24 in New York and Los Angeles, the day a book of the same name goes on sale.



I can't wait for the movie. And boy, it would be cool if he ran again. Come on, Al. Give it won more go-round! You already won once!

CORRECTION: Thanks to Stefy for pointing out what a bonehead I am for confusing the word "won" with "one".

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taylor tries a little tenderness
Taylor Hicks hit a solid triple on AI last night, Katherine hit a good double, and Elliott (I'm sorry to say, mom), only got on base with a single.

poster009
I mean, come on, the song choice for Mr. Soul Patrol was spot-on yesterday: Dancing in the Dark, You Are So Beautiful To Me, and Try a Little Tenderness. Talk about three absolutely perfect songs for Taylor to sing. And he nailed all three of them.

Katherine bumbled through her first song, was fantastic on Somewhere Over the Rainbow, and did okay on her last number. Elliott started off well, and then stumbled through his last two performances. I just know that opening the show with a freakin' Journey song was a bad move. JOURNEY?! Puh-lease!

I did try to call in my vote for Taylor last night, so I wasn't just being a fair-weather fan. The only problem was, I couldn't get through. I kept hitting re-dial on my cellphone for about an hour, and never got through. I'll take that as a good sign though.

We'll see what happens tonight.

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more idol discussion, cowell makes his pick
story.idol.three
Simon has spoken. His prediction for who will win the competition: Taylor Hicks. Check out the story on CNN:

"I'm going to say he's the favorite, but what do I know?" Cowell told Jay Leno on NBC's "Tonight Show" Monday.

Cowell had earlier predicted that rocker Chris Daughtry, who was booted off "Idol" in an upset last week, would be among the show's three remaining finalists.

Instead, along with the 29-year-old Hicks, an Alabama native, the remaining contestants on the Fox program are sultry crooner Katharine McPhee and Elliot Yamin.

Cowell expects Yamin to be the next to go, resulting in a Hicks-McPhee finale on May 23-24. Though Cowell thought McPhee, 21, should have been voted off last week, he thinks she'll last one more round.

"Based on last week, absolutely she should have gone," said Cowell. "But, you know, she's got a fighting chance. I think she'll make the final, and I'll tell you why: because I'm choosing one of her songs this week."



Hey, Taylor has never been in the bottom group of contestants on results night, but who knows what will happen. Like I said before, this is the first season where I honestly wouldn't mind if any of the final three contestants won the whole thing.

All I know is that, for the first time ever, I will be voting for an American Idol contestant tonight. Go Taylor!

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editor bono
Today is Bono's big day to shine as the celebrity editor of London's "The Independent" newspaper. Half of the revenues from today's paper are going to fight AIDS in Africa. Below are links to some of the various articles found in today's special red edition:

Bob Geldof: Trade, Not Aid
The Big Question: Can Rock Stars Change the World?
Why Red Can Boost Global Fund and Its War on AIDS
The Edge Discusses Music Rising
Eddie Izzard: We Need Europe To Be A Melting Pot. We Need to Melt.
Condi Rice: The Ten Best Musical Works
independent
Bono: I Am Witness. What Can I Do?

I am a witness to this. I have watched these brave and beautiful souls who are fighting a forest fire of a pandemic with watering cans, knowing they will not see the light of a day when their work will be honoured. I have been a witness to their conversations around canteen tables, deciding who will live or die, because they do not have enough pills to go round. I've seen Zackie Achmat refuse his medications until he won his action against the South African government, forcing their hand on universal access. What a witness he was. And so I testify.

These firefighters deserve fire engines with sirens and low-flying aircraft with bellies full of of rain. At the very least, they deserve their situation to merit the classification of an emergency. Code Red, like Hurricane Katrina or the tsunami in south Asia, which swept away a hundred and fifty thousand lives. These were natural catastrophes. Africa loses a hundred and fifty thousand men, women, and children every month to Aids, a wholly avoidable disaster, a preventable, treatable disease.


Just one more reason that Bono is my hero. Hey, I'd get a Red card if they offered them in the U.S.

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one game
Before I totally wash my hands of sports topics for the rest of the day, I wanted to pass along this link that my dad sent me.

If you're like me, and just about every other American out there, you don't give a rip about soccer. But to just about everyone else on planet Earth, it's the bee's knees.

Go check out this website at ESPN promoting the World Cup this summer. Click Enter.

Need more motivation? Well, for all my fellow U2 worshippers out there, the site contains four commercials featuring the music of my favorite band. The ads are narrated by Bono, Adam, and the Edge, and are honestly so cool that they almost made me care about soccer. Seriously though, go check 'em out. It just takes a few seconds, and they're pretty sweet.

My favorite is the one about the Ivory Coast.

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whoever predicted a sweep is a moron
Whoops. So, I got that one wrong. There's a reason I write about politics more often than sports. Ah, well. I'll let the big boys do the heavy lifting on today's re-cap of the Piston's loss last night.

Go read Mitch Albom's article. I guarantee it'll be less painful to sit through than yesterday's game.

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crap band seeks crappy lead singer
Mr. Clean
Well, getting booted prematurely on American Idol may not be the worst thing to ever happen to Chris "Sideburns" Daughtry. The crappy band, Fuel, thinks he should be their new lead singer [from iWon, via my dad]:

RALEIGH, N.C. (AP) - Chris Daughtry is looking to launch his music career after getting booted from "American Idol." Fuel is searching for a lead singer after Brett Scallions quit.

The band offered Daughtry a job Thursday, hours after viewers voted him off the Fox television talent show.

Bass player Jeff Abercrombie and guitarist Carl Bell made their pitch on the TV show "Extra."

"Chris, if you are watching, we've talked about this before, and if you want to entertain it again we'll take it and go," Abercrombie said...

Daughtry performed the band's song "Hemorrhage" on a recent "Idol" show. His wife, Deanna, said she's not sure which option he should pursue, but either way music is all he's ever wanted to do.

"He's got a lot on him and hopefully he'll have a lot of wisdom there," she said. "The public forgets so fast about those idols once they get off the show. I just hope they don't forget about Chris."


Chris who?

Well, if the Fuel gig doesn't work out, I still think he could be the new face of Mr. Clean.

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last-morning-ever pill
New-Anti-Abortion.article
Well, for all the pro-lifers out there, Pfizer has finally found the magic bullet to kill the abortion debate [from the Onion]:

NEW YORK—Pro-life advocates celebrated approval of the new anti-abortion drug UR-86 by the Food and Drug Administration Tuesday, calling it a "safe and effective method" for terminating pregnant women while leaving their unborn children unharmed.

Pfizer, manufacturer of UR-86—dubbed the "last-morning-ever pill"—said the drug is intended only for occasions when the mind-set or politics of the mother threaten the life of the fetus.

"This drug is designed for extreme cases in which the mother cannot or should not be saved, or when her health has been placed before that of her unborn child," Pfizer spokesman Anthony Wright said.

The orally ingested drug first tests for the presence of a fetus. If the outcome is positive, a near-lethal dose of barbiturates is released, which induces a coma in the expectant mother until the child is born, at which point a second, fatal dose is released...

"This is a step forward for equality," men's rights activist Charles Hackett said. "For too long, women have had an unfair advantage in the outcome of a pregnancy. UR-86 levels the playing field for husbands and boyfriends across America."

Anti-abortion advocates, many of whom had petitioned the FDA to approve UR-86 while the drug was still in the research-and-development stage, also reacted warmly to the FDA's decision. Randall Terry, founder of the pro-life organization Operation Rescue, praised the new pharmaceutical for its potential use in cases of rape and incest, saying it could help end the shame and humiliation of such trauma while saving the life of the fetus.

"Victims of sexual assault can feel trapped, like they've got nowhere to turn," Terry said. "Now, they can solve their deep, internal problems once and for all, without unfairly condemning their children."


Oh, the Onion is so going to hell for this. And so am I for busting a gut while reading it.

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baby, one more time
story.britney.letterman.ap

"What was Britney thinking?!"

She went on Letterman last night to tell the world she's knocked up again. Go read about it on CNN if you give a rat's ass. Can we stop caring about her yet? Please?

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24 + itunes = finally!
24

Jack: DAMMIT! Our kick-ass show still isn't available on iTunes?!

Zack: Jack, I just cracked into an NSA wiretap feed on Steve Jobs' home phone...

Jack: AND?!

Zack: Apple is finally adding the show to iTunes.

Jack: DAMMIT! How long?!

Zack: It's available right now, Jack. Just open iTunes on your MacBook Pro.

Jack: DAMMIT! I mean... sweet!

[ka-chung, ka-chung, ka-chung]

This blog post is sponsored by the all-new Ford F-150 and iTunes, now featuring the best show on TV, 24.

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david blaine not dead!
davidblaine2
Oh, what a world we live in! After spending a week inside a fishbowl, and failing to break the world record for holding your breath, David Blaine is nothing more than a pruney stooge this morning.

While there were a lot of New Yorkers out there cheering for the "illusionist" last night, some New Yorkers took a decidedly more cynical view of the whole charade [from BBC]:

"We're happy he's not dead. Everyone else was chanting, 'David, David', and we were chanting, 'Don't die, Don't die'," said Suzanne Moyer.

But as usual in this city, there were some harder-hearted assessments of their local son's performance.

"I thought it was sick - I think he let New York down tonight," said Nico Mitchell, 17, who went along with four cousins.

"I wish I'd had a Ferrari to drive around down here - it would have been a better show than that."


I really don't have anything against David Blaine. In fact, I really liked his first couple of magic specials on ABC, but when he started doing all these extravagant stunts like burying himself alive, standing on a really tall pole, locking himself in a block of ice, and hanging from a box above the Thames, I kinda lost respect for the guy. I'm sorry, but I just don't understand how this qualifies as magic.

All of that said, I will admit that I had a hard time pulling myself away from ABC's two-hour special last night. When part of the title included the words "Drowned Alive" I, like any good American, had to tune in to see if the guy actually, ya know, died on live TV.

After the first 15 minutes of Stuart Scott circling the bubble, trying desperately to cling to his last shred of dignity as he turned the event into the Super Bowl of media whoredom, I kinda lost interest and went into the other room. I could hear Blaine's "coach" counting when he started trying to break the record, and came back just in time to watch them haul him out of the tank. No record. No death. Two hours of prime-time television (and my life) gone. God bless America!

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the re-re-re-release of star wars
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First, the news [from popwatch]:

Good news for Star Wars fans with long memories: On September 12, Lucasfilm is releasing DVDs of the original trilogy in its original theatrical form. In other words, you'll finally be able to see Han shoot Greedo first, like he did in 1977. This should please all of us Star Wars oldtimers who were irked at the Stalinist digital airbrushing in the re-released versions, tinkering that smoothed the rough edges (of both the characters and the special effects) and seemed like George Lucas' effort to erase from our collective memory the grubby and flawed originals we first fell in love with. Of course, there's a catch: the discs will be available only until Dec. 31.


Ya gotta love that release date!

I think I wrote a rather bitchy post about the Star Wars DVDs last year (too lazy to find the link). After waiting forever to see the films get released on DVD, George Lucas did the unthinkable (yet predictable), and changed the films yet again.

These changes weren't just a few extra CGI touches here and there, but corrections that drastically altered some parts of the film. So Han Solo shoots a bounty hunter in his introductory scene... who cares? And what's the point of airbrushing out the actor who played the old, dying Anakin Skywalker with Hayden Christensen?

George Lucas has tinkered with these movies practically nonstop since their theatrical release, and each time he changes something it just pisses fans like me off even more. So, I'm glad to see that someone has finally convinced Lucas to give the Star Wars faithful the movies we all fell in love with. Plus, it gives Georgie a chance to cash in on the series again by repackaging and re-selling it for the hundredth time.

She's fast enough for you, old man.

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comic/infographic
Today, an infographic from the Onion, and a comic from Tom Toles:

Infographic

toles

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it's a bird! it's a plane! it's...
Superman! Well, they finally released a real trailer for the new Superman movie, and it looks pretty sweet. I hope this movie is good enough to re-educate the American public that Superman is the greatest comic book hero of all-time. I'm sorry, but Spiderman is a pussy compared to the man of steel. Anyway, hop over to Apple's quicktime site to view the full trailer.

Picture 1

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get a mac
We all know that I'm usually the last person to shill for big multi-national corporations... with a few exceptions.

Apple just released a new slew of TV ads hawking the Mac, and I thought I'd give 'em a plug. It seems like it's been a while since they had a major TV campaign for the Mac platform; everything over the last couple of years has focused on the iPod. I'm glad to see that the Mac is finally getting some of the love it deserves from Apple. Sure, iPods bring in a lot of dough, but Macs are where the margins are.

I haven't watched all of these yet, but I'm still a little on the fence about how effective they'll be. I thought the Switch ads from three or four years back were great, but they never seemed to really work, in terms of attracting new users.

Anyway, you can watch for yourself over at Apple's website.

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time 100: the people who shape our world
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And of course, my hero, Mr. Paul Hewson (aka Bono) is on the list. That's not such a shock. What is surprising is who penned the short tribute article for Time. Former Senator Jesse Helms:

I admire Bono's dedication and his willingness to make decisions. There is no pretense about him. In fact, he has opened himself up to criticism because he has been willing to work with anyone to find help for these children. After our first meeting, he invited me to be his guest at a U2 concert. My grandchildren were only too happy to come along. Bono enjoys telling people that I said watching the audience swaying to the music reminded me of a cornfield rustling in the wind. It was also a reminder of the millions he manages to touch every day with his music and his heart.


Wow. You know someone is making a difference when they can convince Jesse Helms to help a continent full of poor black people.

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say it ain't so, shannon!
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Shannon Brown, I have two words for you: MARCUS TAYLOR. Just keep repeating those words when you think about hiring an agent and officially closing the door on your senior year at Michigan State.

Okay, so Downtown Shannon Brown hasn't done this yet, but after reading this story in the State News and this one in today's Lansing State Journal, I can't say I'm optimistic. Why? Because this is the exact same routine Marcus Taylor put us through four years ago. He declared for the draft without hiring an agent, and now he has a thriving NBA career... in his driveway.

Taylor was an overly-anxious sophomore who got high on himself after a surprising Big Ten scoring title, and had a pushy enough old man who convinced him to take the money and run. Brown is head and shoulders above Marcus as a player, but I'm not 100% sure if he's any smarter. Hopefully Tom Izzo learned a thing or two from the whole Taylor debacle, and can talk some sense into Brown this summer.

Being honest, I can't say I would blame Shannon if he goes down to Orlando this June and blows away all the NBA scouts, decides he's good enough to make it in the first round, and hires an agent. No one in their right mind would turn down a couple mil over three years for a shot to play with the big boys. But if he came back to State and finished out his senior year, he would be the focal point of the Spartan offense. Even if the 2006 team isn't as sharp as the 2005 squad, Brown will be THE star. His stock will rise if he plays another year of college hoops, and he is virtually guaranteed a top-tier draft spot (with a lot more money) in next year's draft.

I'm really not just being a whiny fan here, just a concerned Spartan. I've seen too many players bolt early from our team in the last six years, and go on to regret it. I just hope Shannon isn't another NBA casualty.

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the scariest movie trailer ever
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I know that Earth Day is basically over by now, but I thought this was an appropriate post. Do yourself a favor and hop over to Apple's movie page to watch the trailer for An Inconvenient Truth. This is easily the scariest film promo I have ever seen.

Maybe Al Gore will never get his chance to be the president, but he's doing a great service for America, and the world at large, by speaking out about global warming. Let's just hope that the right people are listening.

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this is terrible
[CNN] Report: 'Star Trek' set for '08 revival

When I first saw this article on CNN's site, I'll admit that my Trekkie heart skipped a beat. I love Star Trek. I don't care how dorky that makes me. The Next Generation is still one of my all-time favorite TV shows. The Wrath of Khan is one of the great Sci-Fi movies ever made. And don't even get me started on the Kirk vs. Picard debate.

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Look, I can admit that the last Star Trek movie totally sucked -- you'll get no argument here. For the tenth film in the series, and what was billed as the "last voyage" for the TNG crew, it was a MAJOR disappointment. So, the prospect of another movie made me hopeful that the franchise might get one last chance to reinvigorate itself. Well, if this is how they're planning to do it, then we really have reached the final frontier.

Basically, the plan for the plot is to show how Kirk and Spock met at Starfleet Academy. I mean, whaaaa? Okay, it sounds like a mildly interesting story, but the suits at Paramount must be completely delusional if they expect to cast replacements for William Shatner and Leonard Nimoy and not piss off the most obsessive fan-base o